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On Approaching My Hundreth Year
by
Katherine Bradway
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I was born in November, 1910, at our family home in Milwaukee, a midwife attending. That was frequent in those days. At three months of age, I almost died of double pneumonia. When the doctor made his morning visit, he found my mother in tears, and he put his arm around her. “She was a nice baby,” he said kindly. Baby was still alive! My grandmother had saved my life by putting her fingers down my throat and pulling out the phlegm that was choking me.
Here I am, soon to reach my hundredth year. The best thing about getting old is the accumulation of friends. Some people collect stamps and some people collect coins, but the finest collection of all is friends, especially at this age. Because of my visual handicap, I no longer can read the printed word, even large print, but I have six wonderful women friends who come and read to me regularly. That is a blessing. And the second best blessing for me is that my wishes are given top priority. People don’t expect much of me at this age, so I can say “no” to lots of things without seeming to be too negative.
I have lived in the same home, designed by my husband, for the last fifty years. My neighbors have become close friends, more than just neighbors. Some of my best friends are also colleagues, who keep me updated on what is going on in the professional organizations that I belong to.
One of the events of the day is when the mail comes, and if there’s a personal card or letter, that is always a very welcome happening. I’d recommend to anyone who wants to do something for an older friend to send a card once in a while.
Getting old is not easy. Why do they call it “growing old?” They should say “declining old.”
When we’re young, we are growing, but as we become old, we fade, just as flowers fade. Young people seek challenges: getting on the baseball team, swimming across the lake, even climbing a mountain. As you get older, challenges are given to you-multifold. Meeting challenges replaces seeking challenges.
Threading a needle is a huge challenge that I gave up on long ago. Reading the daily paper, then just reading the headlines. Walking with a cane and then finally, no more independent walking, getting around with a walker or in a wheelchair. These challenges keep coming, unbidden.
Sometimes it’s hard to rise to the occasion, but I am always glad when I do. When the Jung Institute of San Francisco recently announced that they were having an Ancestors’ Day, honoring another ninety-plus woman member and me as their special guests, I thought I could not go because of the danger of climbing the stairs into the building. I felt that I just did not have the energy. After much urging, however, I did agree to go. The institute arranged for two strong men members to help me up the stairs, and my wheelchair waited for me at the top. I had dictated something to be read by someone else, since I could not read the print myself. Instead of staying the two hours I had planned, I stayed three hours and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
It is increasingly difficult, however, to find the energy to do this sort of thing. But when I make the effort, I am always happy that I did.
I’ve had a full life. In 1963 I became a Jungian Analyst and was a founding member of C.G. Jung Institute of San Francisco. I also studied Sand Play Therapy with Dora Kalf and became a founding member of the International Society for Sand Play Therapy. I am fortunate to have had many of my articles appear in professional journals, and currently I’m working with a colleague at the University of Southern California in making a follow-up study of subjects I tested in 1942 for my doctoral dissertation.
I am meeting each new challenge as it comes, all made easier with my priceless collection of wonderful, dear friends.
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Katherine Bradway is a Jungian Analyst and the founder of Sand Play Therapists of America. She is the author of more than ninety articles published in scientific
journals and the co-author of three books on Sand Play Therapy. She is currently engaged in a sixth follow-up study of subjects who were first seen at the ages of 2-4 years;
these subjects are now in their 70's. Kay is retired and makes her home in Sausalito, CA.
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Comments
David Keller
03 Jan 2010, 13:11
My wife, Carmen, and I are one of the lucky neighbors living near Kay, and
we are inspired by Kay's energy, brilliance, and positive outlook on life.
Sue Walker
15 Sep 2009, 07:42
What a wonderful account of aging. I think that even in our youth, we need
role models. Thank you for being one.
Marie Long
22 Aug 2009, 05:43
Thank you for sharing your experience. It helps to have guides/forrunners.
David K
16 Aug 2009, 19:46
Kay, Thank you giving me a perfect way to celebrate my 61st birthday,
reading your article !
Kay Bradway
06 Aug 2009, 17:13
Dear commentators, I so much appreciate your comments, it makes me happy
that I wrote what I did. My best wishes to each of you, Kay Bradway
Claudia
01 Aug 2009, 10:34
I particularly liked your story! What fascinated me was that the weekend
before I read this I had been with my 99 year old father in law. We spent
a lovely day talking and visiting. At one point he said "I've lived an
interesting life in interesting times."
And he survived a lot, too...going ashore on D-Day plus 2 (June 8, 1944)
and surviving through the remainder of the War. He has always lived in the
moment, tells me often NOT to worry because most of the things he worried
about never came to pass so why waste the energy and speaks with
appreciation of his family and friends. I came away from your essay
thinking that one is lucky to feel what you have and that we should aim to
be aware that we have had interesting journeys that were enriched by our
fellow travelers--family and friends! Thanks and all good wishes to you!
Pris
22 Jul 2009, 03:07
You are indeed an inspiration. I'm 67 and have seen such an erosion in
family and friends to death that moving forward and losing even more seems
very hard. An illness that keeps me housebound makes fears of that future
stronger. Thank you for showing me that even with so many physical
challenges you're still active and with friends. I was a Clinical
Psychologist before I became ill and worked briefly with Richard Singer,
husband of Judith Singer, a prominent Chicago Jungian analyst.He died at
age 46 of a heart attack. You may have known her since she was beginning
her practice in the sixties, too, and wrote several books.
Thank you for this wonderful article!
elaine barnard
21 Jul 2009, 21:38
I was more than touched by your courage. I was inspired. Thank you!
MartaSarkissian
21 Jul 2009, 20:50
Katherine inspires me to believe that living to 100 can bring joy. I am 84,
attend the Jung Club meetings when possible, read and write as much as I
can and try to keep in my consciousness Katherine and women of her ilk who
believe in life. Thankj you.
Darlene
16 Jul 2009, 13:32
Congratulations! You are a role model for all of us and you remind me at
75 that there is much to look forward to. You must have a million stories
to tell.
Rhoda Curtis
14 Jul 2009, 17:18
Congratulations on a full life, and continuing to be fully engaged. My
sister Fay just had her one-hundredth birthday and she is moving to Israel
to
live with her grandson, his wife, and their five grandchildren. Fay was a
founder of early childhood education in
Chicago, and she feels she can be helpful in the home education of her
great-grandchildren. You and she are my role models, deeply inspiring.
Thank you!
marjorie meyerle
11 Jul 2009, 11:02
I loved your account. I have always been interested in Jung, so that added
to your wisdom about life so close to 100. Congratulations on your stamina
and your enthusiasm. I bet your friends are grateful to be in your circle.
Donna Hardy
03 Jul 2009, 16:15
"Sometimes it’s hard to rise to the occasion, but I am always glad when I
do."
Could we put that on a T-shirt? I did some sand trays with Kay. It was such
a privilege. Thank you for the lovely essay.
Brenda@sback.com
29 Jun 2009, 19:51
Kay you are a delight to read and observe. Do continue to make us think
Lauren Cunningham
22 Jun 2009, 20:56
Dear Kay, you are a treasure and an inspiration for women of all ages.
Thank you. I hope I can "decline old" as well as you!
richard friedman
19 Jun 2009, 21:27
what a wise woman you are Kay, and thanks for sharing that wisdom with me
as I also find myself challenged with the vissitudes of aging. Your words
are a comfort to me.
Patti schmidt
19 Jun 2009, 21:00
Lovely! It has been an honor and a pleasure to be Kay's friend and neighbor
for more than 20 years.
Jennie
19 Jun 2009, 19:59
Kay is truly a special woman!!! I am blessed to have her as a relative of
mine! I hope that I can be as clear and focused at her age!!
Ginny NiCarthy
18 Jun 2009, 21:47
What a treat to read about an old woman's life, without advice, without the
author telling others how to do it right, or with grace, or agelessly
(sic)or that it's unmitigated pleasure to grow old. It dawned on me when I
hit 80 a couple of years ago that I'm old Since then I've been collecting
books on aging and they nearly all infuriate me. So thanks for the
flat-out truth about your life, Katherine, complete with warts (not being
able to read)and flowers (excellent friends). And with no advice for the
rest of us.
danahy
18 Jun 2009, 14:16
Thank you for your words. i was moved to tears. They encouraged me to not
give into the challenges i face.
Mireille
17 Jun 2009, 14:37
What a crystal clear mind! Kay, you are a role model for us women of the
"fall" : never give up and stay busy intellectually. There will be no time
wasted for depression or boredom, worst enemies of a smooth transition from
one human season to the other...
Beautiful is also your photograph - like sun rays all over your face. Thank
you Kay, stay well !
LoisBarr
16 Jun 2009, 07:39
Katherine Bradway's picture is as lovely as her text. She inspires me at
sixty-two to rethink my priorities.
Melanie
15 Jun 2009, 22:47
What a pleasure to read this piece and know that almost-100 can be this
good!
pglazerman@comcast.net
15 Jun 2009, 19:13
Still actively engaged in the world. Truly an inspiration.
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